top of page

Love, Lust, and the Liminal: A Field Guide to the New Relationship Ecosystem

Updated: 7 days ago

Welcome to the jungle, babe. Dating isn’t what it used to be—and thank the algorithmic gods for that. What was once confined to a binary of single/taken has exploded into a galaxy of soft launches, polycules, cuddle contracts, and ghostly orbiters. In an era where your "situationship" might outlast your lease and your "cuddle dom" knows your safe word better than your therapist, it’s time for a bold glossary that doesn’t flinch, blush, or apologize.

This isn’t just a dictionary. It’s an invitation. A roadmap. A mirror. Here, we’ll not only define the terms—oh, we’ve got plenty—but also bring them to life through real-life inspired vignettes, interactive scenarios, and cultural cues. Whether you're exploring love on the spectrum, dancing with the idea of polyamory, or wondering why your situationship feels like Schrödinger’s relationship, this guide gets you.

Let’s meet some humans (names changed, of course) who are navigating love on their own terms. Perhaps we can identify what dynamic, structure, connection, behavior, loop or label to which they prescribe.


Maya & the Missing Tag

Maya, 27, is dating someone new after a year-long solo poly stretch. She isn’t ready for a commitment but wants to savor this early stage. On Instagram, she posts a picture of a hand holding hers with a cryptic caption: “Sundays aren’t for solitude anymore.” She hasn’t used a name, hasn’t tagged a face, but the intimacy is unmistakable. Her friends are left guessing (especially the ex). However, not every connection has to be broadcast. Some people relish the magic of the in-between.


What's this dynamic called?

A. Cuffing Season Trial

B. Soft Launch

C. Platonic Intimacy

D. Breadcrumbing

Answer

Jayden's Double Helix

Jayden, 34, has two partners—Rhea and Omar. Jayden’s partners don’t interact; they’ve opted for a structure that allows separation and sovereignty. Each partner gets solo date nights, check-ins, and intentional boundaries that keep emotional overwhelm at bay. Jayden journals separately about both relationships, creating sacred spaces of affection that never collide. Love can be spacious. It doesn’t always have to intersect.


What structure is this?

A. Hierarchical Polyamory

B. Kitchen Table Polyamory

C. Parallel Polyamory

D. Relationship Anarchy

Answer

Leena’s Sunday Rituals

Leena, a touch-positive aromantic, creates an agreement with her friend Evan. They meet once a week to watch movies, eat takeout, and cuddle. No kissing, no sex—just oxytocin and comfort. One Sunday, Evan brings a weighted blanket. The week after, Leena bakes his favorite banana bread. No tension, no confusion—just chosen care. Intimacy isn't just about sex or romance. Consent + connection = magic.


What kind of connection is this?

A. Queerplatonic Partnership

B. Situationship

C. Cuddle Buddy Agreement

D. Friends With Benefits

Answer

Arjun’s Algorithmic Haunting

Arjun, 29, was ghosted by his partner six months ago. They haven’t spoken since. Yet, every story he posts gets seen within seconds by the ex. No messages. No reactions. Just that eerie lingering presence. He blocks them, unblocks them, they reappear again. The algorithm is haunted. So is he. Modern heartbreak is rarely clean. Sometimes closure is replaced with quiet surveillance.


What’s this called?

A. Orbiting

B. Subtweeting

C. Lovebombing

D. Benching

Answer

The Brunch Bunch Chronicles

Zara and Samir are in a relationship with two others: Noor and Eli. They all live in the same house, share meals, and raise their dogs together. Every Sunday morning? Pancakes, check-ins, and matching mugs. On birthdays, they gift hand-drawn love coupons. Their group chat is called “The Poly Pantry.” Queering family structures means choosing co-flourishing over competition.


What label fits this setup?

A. Polyfidelity

B. Open Relationship

C. Cuddle Coven

D. Relationship Escalator

Answer

Asha’s Chill Chaos

Asha, 24, started sleeping with her friend Ravi. There were no rules, no expectations. Six months later, they text daily, share playlists, know each other’s childhood trauma—but still insist, “we’re just chillin.” When someone asks if they’re dating, Asha says, “It’s not like that... but also, don’t date him.” Emotional intimacy doesn’t always come with clarity. And that’s okay… until it’s not.


What’s this called?

A. Friends With Benefits

B. Talking Stage

C. Situationship

D. Queerplatonic Entanglement

Answer

The Playlist That Never Ended

Dev and Lina broke up last spring. Or so they say. But they still share Spotify accounts, send each other memes, and occasionally end up in the same bed. Neither is dating anyone else. They’re “figuring it out.” Every time they try to talk about it, they end up cuddling instead. Some ties unspool slowly. Some never quite unravel.


What’s going on here?

A. Limerence Loop

B. On-again Off-again

C. Emotional Enmeshment

D. Slow Fade

Answer

Nisha’s Monthly Moon Rituals

Nisha has a nesting partner but meets her other partner once a month for sacred baths, mutual massage, and journaling under candlelight. There’s no sex, just deep sensual connection. Sometimes they pull tarot cards for each other. Other times, they just hold hands in silence. Pleasure has many frequencies. Some are soft, slow, and spiritual.


What kind of connection is this?

A. Comet Partner

B. Sensual Partnership

C. Queerplatonic Intimacy

D. Solo Poly Interlude

Answer

Here are some more labels that may help guide you through this journey...

Modern Relationship Labels & Structures

  • Situationship – A romantic/sexual relationship without clear commitment or label.

  • Friends with Benefits (FWB) – Friends who have sex without romantic commitment.

  • Nanoship – Extremely brief romantic or sexual connection (a few days or even hours).

  • Soft Launch – Subtle hints on social media about a new partner without full disclosure.

  • Hard Launch – Full public declaration of a relationship.

  • Talking Stage – The phase before dating, involving texting, flirting, and vetting.

  • Cuffing Season – Period (usually fall/winter) where people seek short-term relationships.

  • Sneaky Link – A secret or discreet sexual partner.

  • Situ-partner – Someone in a vague in-between space between dating and casual.

  • Entanglement – A complicated and possibly messy emotional/sexual connection.

  • Limerence – Obsessive infatuation or emotional dependency without mutuality.

Non-Monogamous & Queer Relationship Models

  • Polyamory – Ethical, consensual non-monogamy with multiple committed partners.

  • Relationship Anarchy – Rejecting traditional hierarchy in relationships; all relationships are negotiated without default assumptions.

  • Solo Polyamory – Someone practicing polyamory while maintaining autonomy and not prioritizing a primary partnership.

  • Open Relationship – A committed couple who agree to sex or relationships outside the partnership.

  • Throuple / Quad / Polycule – Romantic/sexual configurations involving more than two people.

  • Monogamish – A mostly monogamous relationship with occasional agreed-upon exceptions.

  • Queerplatonic Relationship (QPR) – Deep, committed partnerships that are not romantic or sexual but still central to one's life.

Digital Behavior & Ghost Culture

  • Ghosting – Disappearing suddenly from communication without explanation.

  • Orbiting – Someone who ghosts but keeps watching your social media activity.

  • Benching – Keeping someone interested while not actively pursuing them (like a backup).

  • Breadcrumbing – Sending occasional signals of interest to keep someone around without intention of commitment.

  • Zombieing – A person who ghosts but returns later without acknowledging the ghosting.

  • Haunting – Passively engaging with someone's online presence to remind them of you.

  • Cloaking – Standing someone up on a date and simultaneously blocking/unfollowing them.

  • Submarining – Ghosting then suddenly reappearing as if nothing happened.

  • Kittenfishing – Slightly misrepresenting oneself online (e.g., old photos, fake interests).

  • Catfishing – Creating a fake identity online to engage in relationships.

  • Slow Fading – Gradually reducing communication to end things subtly.

Dating App & Commitment Culture

  • Swipe Culture – The gamified mechanics of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc.

  • Love Bombing – Overwhelming someone with affection early on to gain control.

  • Future Faking – Making false promises about a future to manipulate or string someone along.

  • Paperclipping – An ex popping back into your life just to remain relevant.

  • Freckling – A summer fling that disappears in the colder months.

  • Stashing – Dating someone while keeping them hidden from friends/family.

  • Pocketing – Similar to stashing, but particularly about avoiding social media exposure.

Ambiguous & Experimental Dynamics

  • Gray Area Dating – A mix of FWB, emotional intimacy, or sexual connection with no defined label.

  • Slow Dating – Prioritizing deep connection over quantity; intentionally paced relationship building.

  • Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) – Umbrella term for consensual and transparent relationship styles beyond monogamy.

  • Emotional Affairs – Deep emotional intimacy with someone outside a committed relationship, often perceived as betrayal.

  • Sexual Situationships – A mainly sexual connection that blurs into intimacy but lacks commitment.

  • Parallel Polyamory – Partners are aware of each other but do not interact or form connections themselves.

Cultural or Social Tactics/Labels

  • Trophy Partnering – Being with someone for status/aesthetics.

  • Hypergamy/Hypogamy – Dating/marrying up or down social, economic, or educational status.

  • Rebound Relationship – A relationship started shortly after a breakup, often a coping mechanism.

  • Kinkship – A relationship primarily bonded over shared kink/sexual practices.

  • Parasocial Crushes – Feeling deeply emotionally invested in someone you only know online or through media.

  • Compersion – Joy in your partner’s pleasure with others (often discussed in polyamory).

Affection-Based & Non-Sexual Relationships

  • Cuddleship / Cuddle Buddies – A relationship centered around cuddling or physical affection without necessarily involving sex or romance.

  • Platonic Intimates – Deep non-romantic bonds involving emotional closeness and potentially physical touch.

  • Touch Companions – People who intentionally meet to share consensual physical intimacy (often via cuddle parties or touch-positive spaces).

  • Aesthetic Attraction – Relationships centered on admiring someone’s appearance or vibe, without romantic or sexual intent.

  • Sensual Partners – Focused on shared sensory experiences (touch, massage, presence) that may not be erotic.

  • Cuddle Dom/Sub Dynamics – In kink spaces, cuddle dynamics with clear power exchange (e.g., nurturing caregiver/little or warm D/s exchanges).


Identities Within Polyamory & ENM (Ethical Non-Monogamy)


A] Philosophical or Identity-Based Labels
  • Polyamorous – Open to (or practicing) multiple loving, emotionally intimate relationships.

  • Polyfidelitous – Multiple partners who are emotionally and sexually exclusive within their group (like a closed polycule).

  • Relationship Anarchist (RA) – Rejects normative hierarchies (like “primary” vs “secondary”), instead designing relationships around consent and mutual values.

  • Solo Polyamorous (Solo Poly) – Practices polyamory while maintaining individual autonomy (no nesting partner or merging of lives).

  • Hierarchical Polyamory – Acknowledges different roles or ranks (e.g., primary/secondary partners).

  • Non-Hierarchical Polyamory – All partners are considered equally valid; avoids ranking relationships.

  • Kitchen Table Poly – All partners (and metamours) are comfortable interacting, like sharing meals or being socially close.

  • Parallel Poly – Partners are aware of each other but don’t socially engage.

B] Relational Roles and Labels
  • Nesting Partner – A partner you live with or share domestic life with.

  • Anchor Partner – A steady, emotionally grounding partner, not necessarily a nesting one.

  • Comet Partner – A partner who comes into your life infrequently but with high emotional/sexual intensity.

  • Metamour – Your partner’s partner (whom you are not involved with).

  • Zipper Partner – Someone who “zips” together two sides of a polycule by being in multiple relationships.

  • Pivot Partner – The shared partner between two or more others in a vee configuration.

  • Frubble – A portmanteau of “friend” and “compersion,” joy when your partner’s other partner brings them happiness.

Additional Orientations in Queer and ENM Spaces

  • Ambiamorous – Comfortable in both monogamous and polyamorous relationships.

  • Aromantic Poly – Does not experience romantic attraction, but may form multiple loving/sexual relationships.

  • Asexual Poly – Does not experience sexual attraction, but may be involved in romantic or emotionally intimate poly relationships.

  • Queerplatonic Partner (QPP) – A relationship that breaks conventional labels and may include commitment, intimacy, and cohabitation without romance or sex.

  • Libidoplatonic – Relationship based on shared libido and intimacy without romantic commitment.


These labels aren’t containers—they’re creative clay. They stretch and squish to fit our lived realities. If language can hold galaxies, so can your heart.

So whether you’re a solo poly nebula, a ghost-wounded cuddle top, or a monogamish mystic redrawing the devotion blueprint—this guide is your mirror and your permission slip.

You’re not lost. You’re just charting your own constellation.

Commentaires


©2022 by Pillow Talk with Nixi

bottom of page